It came out of no where.
After all I did more than “make it through the holidays”. I enjOYed the holiday season FULLY!!! I was present, let stuff go (like holiday cards), engaged fully in fun times and even stayed healthy in spite of a case of Shingles. I attribute this to my long-standing practices of movement, meditation, nourishment and self-care practices. Basically, I did my SPARKLE program throughout the season and it works!!
As the New Year approached I was full of excitement! I was feeling great about having clarity around my INtentions and many creative projects lined up for the New Year!
Then a string of gray Michigan days in a row showed up. And news of a friend dealing with a MAJOR health crisis. And concern over a loved one’s ongoing health situation. Add that to the overwhelm of getting back into the routine of racing out of work and then off to UBER Momming. EVERY. DAY. I was longing for the type of spaciousness in a day that I had during break so I could wrap my head and heart around all of this and try to emote, feel and move through it all.
On a day when I had to be less “ON” (no client sessions just Uber Momming and writing) I drove past a Christmas tree thrown onto the curb. That was my TRIGGER. I pulled over and just let the tears flow. I use to cry as a kid when I saw people throw out those beautiful trees that had been cherished, decorated and celebrated just days before.
I’m grateful that I could SLOW down (the writing and errands could wait) and I could EMOTE. It’s as if this tree served as a reminder that I can BEGIN processing in small doses.
Not that I processed all the emotions or came up with answers but I ACKNOWLEDGED them, let myself FEEL and sat with it all. Meanwhile, Ed Sheeran played in the background. Every good cry deserves a soundtrack (again the universe aligned). And I knew that I could tap into the many supportive healing tools I have to “move through it” at a later time. .
So as the shiny-ness of the New Year wears off and the gray winter days show up please remember to be gentle with yourself and find space to EMOTE, FEEL and PROCESS!
